They hang ----around--- Hovering over me Thinking I’ll give up my life But I smile at myself How can I give up something that I threw away eight years back? Someone once called me: An open book, with pages falling out. Today I tear off all the pages as they rise And form a kite that flees, flows, flies no strings attached loving, living its four corners.
When I got married they told me from now on you belong to your hubby’s home; and when I went there, they always spoke of where I came from, flinging me forever into never-ending Cretan paradoxes of belonging. I am always going home and still waiting for the day; when I will be coming home. Dislocated It is that time of the month again when the life spills out of me, and my body wins over my mind; when each woman is shoved aside like an oozing wound, an atrophy for the likes of mankind, and I am made to feel guilty for for someone else's wrong. All the perfumes of Arabia will not wash these hands of mine. Time when woman is deemed unholy and imprisoned in immanence. If you cannot sanction my disease, can you sanction my death? It began – once below a time when I found a huge stain on my white-and-white, and mom said: You have become big, from now play only with your cousin (sisters), And when there was a discussion, they hushed me up saying I was little. I have still not reconciled: From the girl given birth by a woman to this woman suddenly born of a girl.
Here I am- in my Agra Fort existence where I gaze towards my past from a framed present, of the lock that you fed me, and the key I could not swallow. I shake my branches desperately- but only withered leaves fall and turn words as they touch the ground. You try to soil my roots, as I try to strike roots in another soil.
Rukhaya MK, awarded the WE Gifted Poet Award ’20, has won accolades for her writing at national and international levels, including ones from the New Book Society of India, Ekphrasis India, Storymirror.com and the Forgotten Writers’ Foundation, Egypt. Rukhaya is the recipient of the Reuel International Prize for Criticism 2016, as a promising upcoming critic. She was chosen by Yahoo as one of the Top 1000 voices on an international level for the years 2011, 2012 and 2013 for her critical writings. In 2016, she was listed as IWI’s Incredible Women Writers of India. She was recently catalogued among the best late 20th century essayists like Arun Shourie, M.J. Akbar, Pankaj Mishra , Arundhati Roy, Amit Chaudhuri, A.K. Ramanujan
She currently works as Asst. Professor of English at Nehru College, Kasaragod, Kerala.